Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
Welcome to ____ pizzeria and abortion clinic where your loss is our sauce.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What did Hitler feel about all the jokes about him? Führereous.
People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
What’s the difference between dark jokes and cotton?
Some people don’t pick it.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
Putin's Brain:
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
They made a horror movie about the Chinese president.
It's called "Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey."
What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are white Christian nationalists?
They both thank you for your financial support.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
