Sometimes i get jealous when my phone dies

Dont say your life is a joke because jokes got meaning.

The more suicidal people there are the less suicidal people there are

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope…

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn’t actually tell me the joke.

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

There’s nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

I don’t call it suicide. I call it population control

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”

“Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live.” “1…2…3 ……4…5…” Did you noticed you said nothing at all?

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

They say people are 75% water But I’m 100% useless

Why did i walk across the road?

to get hit by a car

Are you a toaster? Bc I want to take a bath w you ;)

You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)

I cannot moderate myself at all. It’s either I don’t take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions decisions…

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attemp a suicide, guess what? I failed