Depression jokes

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.

I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.

Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.

The more suicidal people there are, the fewer suicidal people there are.

I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.

Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.

What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

I don't call it suicide. I call it population control.

How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?

You cut the rope...

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

Suicide is never the answer.

Suicide is the question.

The answer is yes.

My memes are ironic, but my depression is chronic.

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.