Depression jokes
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.
"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.
"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.
I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.
What do you call a man off the ground?
Hanged.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
You must be depression, because you make me want to kill myself ;)
Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?
Alfred: Why?
Me: because I'm worthless... =)