Neck jokes
Go commit neck rope.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
life trick: don't get in relationships so nobody can break them
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
What do you do when an orphan gets you mad?
A stab to the neck and a bullet to the face.
There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up.
(Bob holds Deric's neck)
Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Q: What do Satan and a priest have in common?
A: They both want Anthony's neck.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
Why is a giraffe's neck so long?
Because his head is so high up in the air.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
When you see someone with a double chin that’s sad:
Hey come on, man, keep your chin up. Wait, which one?
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
The joke about the giraffe’s neck is far too long to tell.