"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide” The librarian replies, “No,you won’t give it back”
Why are priests called father? because its too suspicious to call them daddy.
I don't call it suicide. I call it population control
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was “she was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife reply’s “perform the fucking autopsy!”
Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents."
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
A man gats kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon" next to all of the chalk outlines
Fuck it suicide is wrong but if you jump off a bridge and yell parkor its a failed stunt
My friend: Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny Me: C'mon it's not that deep
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
What do u call a emo cappella group
Self harmony
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.