Gun Jokes

Life

Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!

The Milkman

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already

Anonymous
in Similarity

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

yo_boi_pizza
in Shooting

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

5
DanteInferno94d
in Politics

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

8
Gun

I don't like the word gun

Whenever I say it people always get triggered

Anonymous
in Anti

you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

6
Anonymous
in Bank

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

5
Funny Joke

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"

7
Anonymous

What do you call an autistic kidwith a gun?

Special Forces.

Anonymous

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

Anonymous

Due to the rising cost of ammunition there will be no warning shots

Overwatch_Gamer321
in Puns

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

2
Chuck Norris
in Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

3
Anonymous
in Animal

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

0
Anonymous

3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

Anonymous
in Depression

Imagine your new playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1:shoot someone Option 2:suicide

Me: aren't they the same thing?

Roger Le

what do you call a avocado that got shot? glockamole

Anonymous

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

9
School Shooter Memes

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.