Gun Jokes

Shooting

yo_boi_pizza
·

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands for money.

Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "Yes sir, I did."

The robber shot him in the head, killing him instantly.

He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"

5

Dirtiness

Life
·

Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!

School

The Milkman
·

I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already

Similarity

Anonymous
·

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

3

Trigger

Gun
·

I don't like the word gun

Whenever I say it people always get triggered

Politics

DanteInferno94d
·

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

9

Dark Humor

·

the doctor gave me one year to live, so i shot him with my gun. the judge gave me 15 years. problem solved!

Anti

Anonymous
·

you can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she’s probably angry.

9

Bank

Anonymous
·

Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

6

Shot

Anonymous
·

Due to the rising cost of ammunition there will be no warning shots

Fire

Anonymous
·

"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

Wife

Funny Joke
·

A husband got a message from his neighbor one day. It read "Hey im sorry i had to tell you like this but i have been doing your wife for months now" The husband went to go grab his gun and shot his wife. He hid the evidence and a few hours later he got another message from his neighbor saying "Sorry meant using your wifi"

8

Puns

Overwatch_Gamer321
·

I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.

2

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris
·

Chuck Norris was shot with a gun. The bullet was critically injured.

3

Special Forces

Anonymous
·

What do you call an autistic kidwith a gun?

Special Forces.

Animal

Anonymous
·

Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

0

Backwardness

MikeyAftonLoL
·

So I was being robbed and this guy had the gun to my head to i told him he was holding it backwards.

Emo

School Shooter Memes
·

When the school shooter walks by the emo kid and doesn’t feel his gun anymore.

Shooting

Anonymous
·

3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

Water

mommy
·

what is a gun that Africa doesn't have? A water gun.