Humor

Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

What's the best thing about 28 year olds?

- There's 20 of them.

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

When your mom tries to hit you with the belt but misses and hits herself... #victoryroyale

Roses are red.

I have free candy. Get in my van. I have free candy!

My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!

How to get 1000 followers on Instagram?

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

My wife called me ugly, and then when she found out how much money I actually make, she called me ugly and broke.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.

You're so ugly, that's why me and your hairline go far back.

I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy, and he seemed disappointed, so I reminded him that he has no family.

"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.

Orphan jokes are funny to explore, especially with the family.

What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?

He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.

A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

Can bees fly in the rain?

Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!

I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"

He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ididap.

Ididap who?

That's the joke, you did a poo!

RIP Candace.