Humor
My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
I've tried to like all of your jokes. They are funny 😆 and joshisboss, you are awesome. Keep up the good work 👍!
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
When the North Tower saw the South Tower collapse, he would say, "I'm still standing."
What is a group of singing terrorists called? A Taliband.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
With the sentence "Die in hell," you can buy shoes in Germany.