Humor
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes.
I guess they're whore-ible.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
What do you call a prostitute weed dealer?
A pot-hole.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?
Nothing, they both fell.
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Latias is red.
Latios is blue.
You should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu.
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.