Humor
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To get to the real estate agent.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
Memes
He's like gigachad but skipped neck day
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a cigar, a Kobe jersey, a MAC-10, a Lambo Huracan with a bumper delete, and a Toyota Tacoma with an M249 on the back. Then I'll have Afghanistan as the 51st state by midnight.
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
Why can't depressed people make depression jokes? Because they can't talk if they are dead.
Jokes are like your grandparents, old and dead.