Humor
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
Why are elephants 🐘 so responsible?
Because they keep their belongings in the trunk.
My Wife: How much do you love me??
Me: Count all the stars.
My Wife: Aww, infinity.
Me: No, a waste of time.
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
Is that ass a water barrier 'cause dam[n]?
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
What’s the similarity between my dick and my girlfriend?
I beat both of them.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.
Why did the dwarf get a job at Lidl?
Because every Lidl helps.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.