Laughter jokes
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
Why can't two eggs tell jokes?
Because they will crack each other up!
I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.
Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.
Why does a dwarf laugh whilst playing football?
Because the grass tickles his balls!
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
"Balls" got me like: 😂
Why do asscheeks make great friends?
They always stick together!
I'm not completely useless....
I can be used as a bad example!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
Who wants to laugh about life with me?
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Do you like tree jokes? Because they leaf me in tears! :3
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.