My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.
It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
Think everyone who wrote these jokes are dead yet?
My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I wish I could say that my life is a joke, but I can't because jokes have a meaning.
Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
