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Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make.

Then they call me ugly and poor

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn’t know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.

My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, “OK, you’re ugly too.”

Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.

My “overweight” friend and me were talking at lunch.

Overweight friend: Man, why you so ugly dude?

Me: annoyedJason when you stepped on the scale this morning it asked for you’re weight not you’re phone number.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

whats the difference between the twin towers and an ugly girl. the twin towers at least got f...ed.

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.

Youre mama so ugly, When Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said,“HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT’S ONE UGLY BITCH!”

You no your ugly when you git handed the cameras every time your frind’s have a group picture.

You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?

Go look in the mirror.

yo mama so ugly that when she was born the doctor looked at her face then at her butt and said Twins!

Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.

YO mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away

yo mamma so ugly that even god said be gone DEMON!

Yo mama is so ugly she turned a knife into a statue

YO mama is so ugly she gave Micheal Myers nightmears

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,“I want to be more handsome than the first guy.”, God granted his wish. “The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy.” God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. “What is your wish?” God asked him. “I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!” God granted his wish

yo mama so ugly she made kanye west go east.