Seatbelt jokes

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Why did the child cross the road?

Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Why did Sally cross the road?

She didn’t wear her seatbelt.

There are so many things about Tracy Latimer's murder that I wish I knew. Did he buckle up her seatbelt? Did he put the radio on for her?

Did he tell her she was going on a little trip to Gastown?

If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

Double!

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Triple!

Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Why did Paul Walker cross the street?

Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She forgot to put her seatbelt on.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.