Seatbelt jokes

What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?

A seatbelt.

Why did Paul Walker cross the street?

Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.

Q. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A. A seatbelt.

If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

Double!

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Triple!

Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

Why did Sally cross the road?

She didn’t wear her seatbelt.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She forgot to put her seatbelt on.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.

I didn’t know how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.

Why did the kid cross the road?

He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Why did the child cross the road?

Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.

A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, you're f**ked.

I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.