"Hey, today was great."
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
3 Drunk men get in a taxi, the driver knew they were drunk so he started the car and turned it off. the first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver, the driver surprised that he noticed so he askes why and the third man replies with ̈why did you drive so fast. ̈
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.
you
What kind of car does yoda drive. A toyoda
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
Why are women like hurricanes?
They come in nasty and wet then leave with your house and car.
Kids in the backseat make accidents and accidents in the back seat make kids.
When you going 80 mph and hit a speed bump Then the speed bump starts screaming
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down
why did the depressed person cross the road.
to get ran over.
