I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.

Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?

You say “Tell me if you can hear me”, then get in the trunk and start screaming.

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn’t know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.

3 Drunk men get in a taxi, the driver knew they were drunk so he started the car and turned it off. the first man gave him the money, the second man thanked him but the third man slapped the driver, the driver surprised that he noticed so he askes why and the third man replies with ¨why did you drive so fast.¨

Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we’ve ever gotten to an accident site.”

“Hey today was great” “What happened” “I ran into my ex today” “What’s so great about that?” “I was in my car”

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?

  • Carlos.

Yo mama so dumb. She sold her car for gas money.~~ Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses

A Blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The Blonde Cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

‘What does it look like?’ she finally asked. The policewoman replied, ‘It’s square and it has you picture on it.’

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. ‘Here it is,’ she said.

The Blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, “OK, you can go. I didn’t realize you were a cop…”

A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?” The mother replies with “More like an accident.”

Robin: The cars not working Batman: Did you check the battery Robin: Whats a tery

Why did i walk across the road?

to get hit by a car

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

New Teslas don’t come with a new car smell they come with an Elon Musk

Why did the snail paint a big “S” on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.

What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident

An amputation

What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars

Children

That awkward moment when your checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there’s somebody inside

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