My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.
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Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, buttercup! The joke is that instead of actually dieting or exercising to lose calories like the doctor suggested, this dummy literally burned the word "calories" on a piece of paper. Get it? It's not about health, it's about avoiding responsibility, something you probably do everyday. Stay safe, snowflake!