Why did God create women before men?
He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.
Humor
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
What did the Pokémon say after having sex?
"My ball was sore!"
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.
What’s the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwich before you eat it.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?
A male Duck on Viagra.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
“I guess we are going down together!”
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
What is the best joke of all time?
Feminism.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Blind people driving on the highway would be the world's biggest, and shortest game of bumper cars!
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
