Dick

Why did the dick go insane?

Someone kept messing with his head.

Windshield

Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”

Memes

Guy

What do you call it when a gay guy eats Cheerios?

Fruit Loops.

God

Why did God create women before men?

He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

God

What did God say when he made the first woman?

"Where is your dick at?"

Tire

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

Boat

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

Dog

I'm Asian and there is a saying that dogs are man's best friends. They are my best friends because they keep me from starving.

Sticker

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

Animal

What kind of animal makes a good bottle opener?

A male Duck on Viagra.