Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I’m not lazy, I’m just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don’t try to stop me. I’ve got a skele-ton of these!
Rules of Dark humor:
- All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
- No saying “Me” or “My Life” as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
- Don’t Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Three guys are on a plane one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American, and the Pilot says “There is to much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off.” So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said , “I have plenty of these where I come from,” the the Asian threw out some rice and said “I have plenty of these in my country,” The American threw out a bomb and said, “I have a lot of these in my country.” The plane crashes anyway and the three men start to walk away from the crash, as they were walking the found a boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of Buritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy,” The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying they asked him what was wrong and he said, “A ton of rice fell out of the sky and sherded all my clothes.” The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble, they kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny the boy said, “MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!”
two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal…Does he taste funny to you?
It’s funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can’t do any of those things
Me: Want to hear a joke? Friend: Sure Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me. Friend: What’s funny about that? Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
What happens when a skeleton does not laugh at you’re pun?
Looks like someones funny bone is broken😁
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside. He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see”
And the lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and won a toaster
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.