The 1,000+ Best Funny Jokes

Teacher:Kids what does a chicken give you

Students: Eggs

Teacher: Very good now what does the pig give you

Kids: Bacon

Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you

Kids: Homework

I heard a joke about chocolate bars and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered..

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except Abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.

And the lord said unto john come forth and you will receive eternal life, but john came fifth and won a toaster

What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night? Dark humor.

Some people think incest jokes are funny. I just think it's all relative.

two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal....Does he taste funny to you?

Friend:Im gonna go ask out my crush Me: fake sneezes* Sry im alergic to bullshit

Rules of Dark humor: 1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits. 2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes. 3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that. I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site. - Sincerely, Zane

Dark humor jokes about orphans are funny bc no parents are gonna be told

I am Funny but sad. I submit jokes you'll love. Anyway...

Little Jimmy asked his mom if he could take a bath with her since he was scared if being alone. She said, "Sure, just don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what are those?" She replied, "Those are just headlights." He looked down and said, "What is that?" She said, "That's just a bush." The next day, mommy wasn't home so he asked to take a shower with his papa instead. He said, "Okay, but don't look up." He looked up and said, "Woah, what is that?" His papa replied, "That's just a snake." Later that night, he asked to sleep with his parents. They said, "Okay, just don't look under the covers." After a while, he grew bored and went under the covers. Jimmy screamed, "Mom, turn on the headlights, the snake is in the bush!"

one day I came to my mom and said "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"

mom: "no you can't.."

me: *throws butter out the window* me: "look I made a butterfly!"

lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it

Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?

A kindergarden.

I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!