Landmine jokes

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are through the roof!

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

5 Little Monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said... "Wait, why are there mines all over the floor?"

Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"

Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"

Officer: "Ok!"

*silence*

*explosion*

Where did the children go after he stepped on the land mine?

There, there, over there, and over here too.