Landmine jokes

I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.

What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.

What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."

I wasn't close to my dad when he died.

Which was good, he died to a landmine.

I've got a job defusing landmines.

It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.

I started selling landmines disguised as prayer mats.

Prophets are through the roof!

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"

Why does everyone say there are mines in Bosnia? There are no-

Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?

"Everywhere."

I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.