Health jokes

Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."

More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?

AIDS.

People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"

"Yeah, over my dead body!"

Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."

And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.

Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.

I have a friend who recently stopped smoking, and the withdrawal was causing hallucination. He went to my house and thought there was a shark in the pond in my backyard. So, I would like to dedicate these lyrics to my friend: "I see a dreamer over there by the water!"

Why is mercury like everything else in the world?

Because it gives you cancer.

Time heals all wounds. Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.

Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

Mashed potatoes.

Where do bunnies go when they're sick?

The hoppital.

My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed him. Now we wait.

The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.

What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.

What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

What's the difference between me and cancer?

My dad didn't beat cancer.

I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.

Read this and you're gay.

Depression has been entered into your body.

A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."

The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"