What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel it’s skin off.

What’s the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.

The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

What do you do when your baby starts screaming? Use more lube.

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson

How did the Dead baby cross the road? It was strapped to the chicken.

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

What’s worse then a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

I was going to tell a joke about babys but i decided to abort

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

  • 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.

What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?

Fetus Deletus!

what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal

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