What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

What’s the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

How did the Dead baby cross the road? It was strapped to the chicken.

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson

What do you do when your baby starts screaming? Use more lube.

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel it’s skin off.

what do you call a baby in an oven? my next meal

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

What’s worse then a baby in a trash can?

A baby in 10 trash cans.

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bed time.”

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

Whats worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?

  • 1 dead baby in 5 garbage cans.

How do you get 500 babies in a phonebooth? A blender How do you get them out? A straw

What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?

An erection.

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark

What’s worse than 3 babies in one trashcan? One baby in three trashcans.