Baby Jokes

Anonymous

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

6
Anonymous

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying ten babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be saying one baby in ten trashcans

Bubbles

What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?

About 140 calories.

Anonymous

What’s the difference between a baby and a salad?

Most people don’t get angry when you toss a salad.

He must never know

What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What’s worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive. What is worse still? It has to eat its way out. What’s worse than that? It went back for seconds.

6
billy teh moot

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child.

Cerberus
in Child

The good thing about dead baby jokes is that they never get old.

Joyboy

What’s worse than 3 babies in one trashcan? One baby in three trashcans.

Why?

What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?

Fetus Deletus!

4
aye

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: 'Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to the man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

3
Bob Ross

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

One screams when I peel it’s skin off.

Anonymous

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

Anonymous
in Orphan

Why is it when women decided to kill an unborn baby its a “CHOICE” but when i decide to drive my F-150 into a playground full of kids its called “MURDER”!

lincoln busby

the doctor says to the woman there was good and bad news. the woman says she wants the bad news first the doctor says the bad news is the baby had red hair. then he said the good news is it is dead.

5
aNoNyMoUs
in Adoption

How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby its a “choice”. But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children its called “murder”.

7
Anonymous

How did the Dead baby cross the road? It was strapped to the chicken.

2
Yeet

The secret to dark humor is the delivery… oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

2
Anonymous

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

1
Anonymous

what is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?

U can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitch fork.

8
Anonymous

Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭