Health jokes
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?
The wheelchair.
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Memes
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics!
Why are you so white?
Because you have no lotion on.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.