What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
And the winner of the Tour de France is awarded, as ever, with the yellow jersey.
To remind him what color his piss is meant to be.
What kind of cold flu do the Japanese get? The Koflu.
I gave my friend some paper. It cut his wrists.
Why can't people in Africa have medicine?
Because you cannot have pills on an empty stomach.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
Your mom is so fat, she starts with the letter O in the alphabet because O.B.C.D. (Obesity).
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
When a fat person steps on a scale, it says: “To be continued.”
My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...
What happened?
Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
I love when I could run through the grass and feel the wind on my face.
Then my mom told me to get off VR, and then I wheeled myself to her.
Man: Hi, Doc, I have a problem. I take a shit at 6:00 AM every morning.
Doc: What's wrong with that?
Man: I don't wake up until 8:00 AM.
Guys, depression cannot be turned into a joke.
Why was the snowman looking through a bag of carrots?
He was picking his nose.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?
They are more open-minded.
