Health jokes
Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Q: Why are medication pills white?
A: Because they work.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics!
Why are you so white?
Because you have no lotion on.
Memes
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
People always tell me to say no to drugs, but if I'm talking to drugs, I probably said yes.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
What’s a vegetable’s favorite dance?
The cabbage patch.
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.