Baseball

Baseball Jokes

China

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.

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  • Heaven

    Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."

    Boy

    Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

    Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”

    Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”

    Funeral

    It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible... But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?” The man shakes his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.”

    Bat

    What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?

    “We should touch base.”

    Closet

    Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

    Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

    Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

    Bat

    What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.