Wheelchair Jokes

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand. He said, But Dad I'm blind. Exactly

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand up.

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? RC-XD incoming.

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a Hit and Can't Run?

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, theres a spider. The blind man simply said. "Step on it".

What's the worst part of about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car? Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

I was beefin wit a dude and a wheel chair so I took his wheel chair and threw it across the street and told him walk it off u will be fine

My school is fire today and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted HOT WHEELS

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.