Wheelchair jokes

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.

If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

I was beefing with a dude in a wheelchair, so I took his wheelchair and threw it across the street and told him, "Walk it off, you will be fine."

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?

Young Boy Never Walk again.

One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?

Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.