Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful f...er just sat in his wheelchair and cried

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

  • Mommy, i want a bicycle !!
  • Shut up Sam! You’ve already have your wheelchair!

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn’t fit in the pot.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?”

“No, … hurdles.”

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the d.......! after all, they can’t even stand up for themselves

I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled? The wheelchair floats to the top

To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: you can hide, but you can’t run

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.

Three d....... guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three d....... guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair’s getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.

my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

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