To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair

Guess who came crawling back

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.

“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.

“Boxing?”

“No, … hurdles.”

I can’t stand being in a wheelchair.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin mobile.

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday, the ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried

I tried to make vegetable soup today, but the wheelchair didn’t fit in the pot.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? – Meals on wheels.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? – The wheelchair.

my sons so ungrateful. i bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.

A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him: Wife: why is your face all bloody? Husband: I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up so I kept falling on my face! Wife: idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!

What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair…

RC-XD incoming

When two wheel chairs hit each other is it a fender bender

  • Mommy, i want a bicycle !!
  • Shut up Sam! You’ve already have your wheelchair!

The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair

teacher * take a seat class * wheelchair person * ive been in the seat*

surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that they’re arms don’t get tired…

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