Health jokes

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?

A bone-étit.

"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.

Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!

But he’s all right now.

What’s positive in Africa?

HIV/AIDS.

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................

Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

What do you call an emo cancer kid?

Chemo.

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?

A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏

What's the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea?

The epileptic corn shucker “shucks between fits”...

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.