Health jokes
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Yo mama sooooooo fucking fat, when she takes a step, she needs a 5-min break.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
Yo mama so fat she can't walk for five seconds without sweating, causing a tsunami!
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Your mama is so fat. She gets winded just thinking about running.
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
Why does Aaron eat burgers on a Wednesday? Because his spine is bent, and his favorite gun in Apex Legends is the G7 Scout, and he uses the speedy Spanish man.
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
They said time heals all wounds, well, I broke your watch.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
Why drink water and not bleach?