How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?

Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, “If you’re happy and you know it…”

The room was full of arm amputees.

I went to visit my friends sick grandpa. He was lying in a hospital bed connected to a lot of tubes. When I approached him he kept repeating “Nǐ cǎizhe wǒ de yǎngqì guǎn”

Suddenly right in front of me, he passed. Later that night I translated his last words, and they were “You’re standing on my oxygen tube”

Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s p..... The other man says, “ Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!”. He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out. The man wen back to the other man and said, “ There is no hope, you will die.”

Why do hospitals have fans? To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.

My dad and I went to the hospital once, and he said he’d be fine and it’d only take a few minutes.

Lying bastard never came out.

Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.

A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says “Here. Ow.” She then pokes her arm and says “Here. Ow.” She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say “I know what’s happened to you.” “What’s happened to me??” The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, “You have a broken finger.”

if stephen hawking is diying where do i take him currys pc world or hospital

How do you start a rave? Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital

Why are hospitals always freezing?

They need to keep the vegetables cold.

Why is there AC in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.

These aren’t funny

a Woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just f...ing with you, it was born dead”.

So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: “so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down” and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I’m just f...in with u she’s DEAD!"

what do you call a hospital that’s flooded vegetable soup

When Stephen Hawkings died did they take him to the Hospital or PC World?

Why is there Air Conditioning at a Hospital?

To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

yum

What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?

“boy, could you put my phone on charging?”

My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone’s breathing masks to laughing gas.