How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
I would like to dedicate this song to a friend of mine, who was run over last week and is in hospital.
The wheels on the bus go round and round!
* What's the hardest line to draw in a hospital? * ... * A FLATLINE!
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
i got kicked out of the hospital cause i told all the Covid-19 patents to stay positive.
Doctor: "What's your zodiac sign?"
Patient: "Cancer?"
Doctor: "What a coincidence."
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
My cousin died last week he needed a blood transfusion but we didnt know his blood type he just kept saying "b positive b positive" but its hard to be positive with him gone
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where i should put my pants. "next to mine" was not the answer i was expecting
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
What is the easiest line to draw in the hospital?
My heartbeat.
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?" Doctor: "To the morgue." Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor." Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live." The man says " 10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?" The doctor calmly replies "Nine"
We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read "its a bumpy road but soon u will have a straight path." People didnt realize it was meant for his heart monitor.
A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says "Okay I'd like you to point to wherever it hurts". So the Blonde pokes her cheek and says "Here. Ow." She then pokes her arm and says "Here. Ow." She then repeats this with different parts of her body until the doctor finally says that she should stop. The doctor say "I know what's happened to you." "What's happened to me??" The Blonde says, concerned. The doctor simply replies, "You have a broken finger."
Why was sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterwords he's sitting the the doctor's office and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
