I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere
To the man in the wheel chair who stole my camouflage jacket, You can hide but you cant run.
What was the last thing to run through osama bin ladens mind? Probably a bullet.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
What pool never runs dry? The one on the Titanic.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Sonic Can run around the world in a second. In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he’s hooked up to? – The computer runs.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
If a person in a wheel chair runs you over, can you call it a Hit and Can´t Run
A Child asks his teacher to go to the toilet "before you go recite the alphabet" the teacher says a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z "good but wheres the p?" “running down my leg”
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket… You can hide, but you can’t run.
Do your buses run on time? No, they run on diesel.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? – “Curses! Foil again!”
So Johnny was in kindergarten and his teacher assigned him to learn the ABC’s so he goes home and ask his mom who’s cooking “Whats the first letter of the ABC’s?” he ask and his mom responds with “SHUT UP… I’M COOKING!” so then he walks to sister who’s signing in the shower and asks her “Whats the 2nd letter of the ABC’s?” she responds with “I’m ready to go I’m ready to go!” then he walks over to his brother who’s watching batman and asks “Whats the 3rd letter of the ABC’s” and his brother responds with “nu nu nu nu batman” then he proceeds to walk to his dad who’s watching football and ask “Dad whats the 4th letter of the ABC’s?” and he responds with “95 HIT EM HARD!” then he walks to his grandma who’s cooking buns and ask her “Whats the 5th letter of the ABC’s?” and she responds with “MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!” then he Johnny proceeds to go to school the next day and the teacher says to her class “Can any of you tell me the first letter of the ABC’s” Johnny of course raises his hand and the teacher calls on him then he says “SHUT UP I’M COOKING!” then the teacher raises and eyebrow and says “Young man are you ready to go to the principals office?” then he proceeds to say “I’m ready to go I’m ready to go!” and he walks to the principals office then she says “What’s you’re name son?” he responds with “Nu nu nu nu batman!” then the principal ask “How many spanken’s boy?!” he responds with “95 HIT EM HARD” and after that he runs out of the principal’s office well yelling “MY BUNS ARE RED HOT RED HOT!”
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, “Are you all right?” “No, I lost an electron!” “Are you sure?” “Yeah, I’m positive!”