I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
What was the last thing to run through osama bin ladens mind? Probably a bullet.
Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign? A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a Hit and Can't Run?
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
The orphan was playing baseball, he hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
A guy runs into a bar, and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
why is the thief so good at basketball? because he can shoot, steal, and run
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs! Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police says the suspect is armed and on the run.
How did I get to Iraq? I ran
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
