Health jokes
Q: Why was the 4 year old anti-vaxer crying?
A: He was in a mid-life crisis.
Why are you so white?
Because you have no lotion on.
Bro, I gave a suicidal kid Nikes... he just did it, lol.
What is the only part of a vegetable you can’t eat?
The wheelchair.
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
lmfao true
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Her: "Land of the free".
Me: *fat*
Her: What do you mean?
Me: It's not fat-free.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What's the most optimistic blood type? B+.
What disease causes wrinkled clothes? An iron deficiency.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One is finger-licking good, and the other is just a fast-food restaurant.