Wake

Coincidence

Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?

Difference

Anonymous

whats the difference between a lambo and a boner

your sister didnt give me a lambo

Baby

Anonymous

what’s the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies

My boner

7

School

Anonymous

School is like a boner. It’s long and hard unless you’re Asian.

0

Sex

smartass

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams . “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”

2

Boner

Anonymous

What do you call a retard with a boner? a slowpoke

Orphan

Anonymous

What do you call a orphan with a boner?

Porn

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call a Native American with a boner?

A redwood

Bone

not sans
  • Boner.
2

Baby

Anonymous

What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs? … A boner…

Er

Heyy oh

She really wanted a BO N ER

Erection

Anonymous

What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?

Ereptile Dysfunction! 😂😂🤣☺️

0

Wall

Anonymous

What happens if a Asian walks into a wall with a boner. They hit there nose on the wall

3

Car

Naruto uzamaki

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he’s dead and I I’m a virgin the 3d one says I can’t I’m on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it’s not like he doesn’t smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body…

1

Make

IDK

Medusa makes men hard

Skeleton

Anonymous

Why Did The Skeleton Have No Friends? He Was A Boner! Heheheh! Ah, See Ya Soon Kiddo. Im Goin On Break. Ill Give You Some Fried Snow Later!

Skeleton

CobraAnonymous

How do you tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton by the BONERS lmao

Right

Seo-Yun

I’m hard right now

Cause your a DICKstraction

;) - SEO-YUN

Jar

Arkchev Look for Girl

Sharb Glarv Jug jug Milky Jar jar Pobbies Mm yum yum Rawr Big pooboes

Green

Dragon

What do you call a green boner the Grintch