Wake

Coincidence

Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?

Difference

Anonymous

whats the difference between a lambo and a boner

your sister didnt give me a lambo

Wife

smartass

A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage. Yet the beast has no feet and paws. “What is the matter with you?” the man thinks aloud. “Well, that’s how I was born, I’m actually a faulty parrot” says the bird. “Haha,” the man laughs, “it seems like that parrot understands what I’m saying and even answers!” “I understand everything you say, I am extremely intelligent and very well educated,” says the bird. “Well, if you’re so smart then tell me how you can stay on your stick without legs.” “Well,” says the parrot, “it’s a bit embarrassing, but okay, I wrap my little parrot penis around the stick, like a hook, but I hide that with my thick feathers.” “Wow, you really understand everything I say, do not you?” “Yes, yes,” replies the bird, "and I speak Spanish and English fluently, I can speak on a level about almost everything, politics, religion, sport and philosophy and I specialize in bird science, you should buy me, I am also a very good friend for you. " The man looks at the price tag, 200 euros is on it. “Sorry, I can not afford that.” “Psst,” whispers the parrot as he beckons the man with his wing closer. "Nobody wants me because I do not have legs, just bid 25 euros and you can take me with you." The man offers 25 euros and walks 5 minutes later with the parrot out of the store. A few weeks pass. The parrot is sensational. He is fun and interesting, gives good advice, is sympathetic to everyone, in short; the perfect roommate and friend. One day the man comes home from work and the parrot says “Pssssssssssst” while he beckons his wing again. The man comes close to the cage. “I do not know if I should tell you this,” says the parrot, “but it’s about your wife and the postman.” “What!?” says the man. “Well, the postman came to the door and your wife greeted him in a nothing disguised nightgown and kissed him flat on the mouth.” “And then,” the man hisses, “What happened then?” “Well, the postman came in, grabbed her nightgown and started caressing her everywhere.” “My God,” says the now furious man, “And what else did they do?” “Then he took off her nightgown, went through his knees and started to lick her everywhere, starting at her breasts and getting further and further down.” “And then, what happened, what else did they do?” the man screams . “No idea,” says the papgaai, “I got a boner and thundered off my stick …”

School

Anonymous

School is like a boner. It’s long and hard unless you’re Asian.

Puns

Anonymous

What do you call a Native American with a boner?

A redwood

Baby

Anonymous

what’s the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies

My boner

Bone

not sans
  • Boner.

Make

IDK

Medusa makes men hard

Nose

Anonymous

What happens if a Asian walks into a wall with a boner. They hit there nose on the wall

Skeleton

Anonymous

Why Did The Skeleton Have No Friends? He Was A Boner! Heheheh! Ah, See Ya Soon Kiddo. Im Goin On Break. Ill Give You Some Fried Snow Later!

Erection

Anonymous

What do you call it when a lizard can’t get a boner?

Ereptile Dysfunction! 😂😂🤣☺️

Car

Naruto uzamaki

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guys body they notice when they walk over he has a boner the first doctor decides why not fuck him he still has a boner left in him the 2nd says well he’s dead and I I’m a virgin the 3d one says I can’t I’m on my period and then says okey why not he already dead it’s not like he doesn’t smell bad after all that they go to walk out and the guy pops up and says thanks for saveing my life pumping blood back into my body…

Bone

Anonymous

boner

Right

Seo-Yun

I’m hard right now

Cause your a DICKstraction

;) - SEO-YUN

Bigness

Arkchev Look for Girl

Sharb Glarv Jug jug Milky Jar jar Pobbies Mm yum yum Rawr Big pooboes

Green

Dragon

What do you call a green boner the Grintch

Baby

hereinfinland

a man had 10 dead and blooduy babys in middle of his livingroom. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest to hide?

-boner.

#babyjokes

Bigness

big peenus

i have a big cock

Inge

My name’s Jeff

What’s the hardest part about f…ing toddlers?

My boner

Sex

Gaybob

GBM when he sees Soph (gets a boner) and has sex with soph but realizes he forgot to put on a condom… soph: this is why arsenal fans are so deluded and retarded Normal Fans after they lose the game: Good game, you guys played really well. GBM: BRO REF WHAT THE BLOODY HELL YOU DELUDED ASS RETARD, OMFG WE LOST BECAUSE OF THIS REF

Adapt: Hey Adapt, Did you know your smart? Smart for being retarded Yo adapt!! You’re so stupid that you gave me your roblox account info and you said thanks about it!!

Barca fans after the LFC vs Barca game: We bottled it, damn it, we’ll win the Copa Del Rey tho. Commie after the LFC vs Barca game: YOU NEVER WALK ALONEEEEEEEEEE Normal People: I support only 1 team Commie: I support Barca, LFC, and AEK!! And i’m the biggest plastic in the server!!

Girl

Emanuel

three guys walk into a bar. one asian one american, one black a girl walks in and says if all three of you D____ sizes dont add up to 12 inches i will shoot you first comes the american with 3 inches, then the black man with 8, it totals out to 11 and they look at the asian and say "oh no" he comes to 1 inch to top off the twelve she walks away and says ok, the asian says, your lucky she was hot so i had a boner

Man

Anonymous

when a man loses his testosterone Man: could i please have a loner boner

Fart

COCOBOI

Teacher: calls you up to the board. You: Ok. Gets intense boner has to fart really bad You: f***!!!

Puns

jay jay

my dick said that your ass is having a boner

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