My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies
What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!
If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?
Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.
Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes
I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this????” She later asked me to leave forever..... I don’t gnome why but... it CRACKed me up abit!!!
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN
Jack and jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy Jack got a surprise and blood shot eyes because jill gave him a roofie
My doctor prescribed a new drug to treat my depression. It’s called Enditol.
Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.
Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.
Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.
Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?
He CRACKed up.
What do kids and drugs have in common , I sell both of the
What do you call a religious drug addict? A crystal methodist.
One of my friends named Jill had a drug overdose. She didn’t have any of that drug after that. For the rest of her life she acted very high. When she died, it was because of natural causes, not the drug. So this proves that a lethal dose is also a life time supply.
Why did the stoner cross the road? He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine? An earthquake.
