Drug Jokes

My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I have been tripping all day!

You: Say "addicted" after everything I say. Person: Uh okay. You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...? Person: Addicted. You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...? Person: Addicted. You: What hit you in the face last night? Person: Addicted... *laughs* (It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")

I had a friend named Mari. Sadly she did drugs. So one day I go up to her and say “Mari-juana do this????” She later asked me to leave forever..... I don’t gnome why but... it CRACKed me up abit!!!

How does a prostitute make more than a drug dealer?

Because she can clean her crack and sell it again.

If there was someone selling drugs around here, weed know

Whats the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

How did the coke seller react when someone told him a joke?

He CRACKed up.

What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

What's the difference between drugs and kids?

I don't sell drugs.

Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.

"Just say no to drugs!" well, if i'm talking to my drugs, i probably already said yes

I bought some sneakers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day.

Man: I know how to please a woman. Woman: Then please leave me alone.

Man: I want to give myself to you. Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Man: Your hair color is fabulous. Woman: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.

Man: You look like a dream. Woman: Go back to sleep.

Man: I can tell that you want me. Woman: Yes, I want you to leave.

Man: Hey, baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.

Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? Woman: I hate you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.

What do you call a duck on drugs A quackhead.

For you have a overdose on a drug and die, then the lethal dose would a lifetime supply.

Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom,I checked inside her ham sandwich and there was fresh drugs.

i always say no to drugs but considering that im talking to them rn i probably already said yes

schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD" then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours