Crime jokes
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
It's okay, you had socks on :)
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.