Crime jokes
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.
Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.
Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!
"Hee hee touch my pp."
As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.
"Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust Ring in Hell!"
It's okay, you had socks on :)
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.
What has eight legs and doesn’t rape children?
The Jackson 4.
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
Once a naked woman robs a bank, but sadly, no one can remember her face...
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Joe Biden was once president, but he got arrested because he got caught fingering a minor.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"