I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Crime Jokes
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
How do people grade pedophiles?
1st grade to 8th grade.
(I know it's orphan jokes but still)
I awoke after being raped and was shocked to find my fingers were broken. It was hard to grasp.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.
The orphan also had to cry because the cartels called him "homie."
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Are you suicidal? Remember, if you ever feel unwanted, just check to see your warrants.
I never touched kids, just women, but since I was famous, they were fine with it.
Why do orphans like pedos? Because they have someone to call "daddy."
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
Why don’t pedophiles win races?
They like to come in a little behind.
