I lost my driver's license today. I hit my ex with my car.
Jack
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK
"Hee hee touch my pp."
I still remember my dad's last words, "You c***! You let the ladder go, you cuuunt!"
Smack! He hit the ground and bled out.
Whats harder then titanium Michael Jackson at the playground