Self Harm

Self Harm Jokes

Ocd

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

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  • Friend

    My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

    Skin

    You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

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  • Friend

    My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

    Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

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  • Emo

    What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.

    Grape

    What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

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  • Carving

    I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

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  • Stripes

    The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

    Dad

    I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

    Thigh

    What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

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  • Teacher

    I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

    Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

    Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

    Scar

    Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

    People

    People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.