Somebody asked me whats that on your arm I just said "My cats got ocd"
My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh this, I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."
you know what really gets me under my skin when im down? sharpener blades
My friend: Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny Me: C'mon it's not that deep
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.
The other day me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts I was wearing a black top she was wearing a stripy top we were arguing abt who was more creative when she asked to prove that I am I just said "u buy ur stripes, I make mine"
i was in cooking class and my teacher said - does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?
me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
long story short the teacher understood the joke and now we are both in daily therapy 😭💀
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm
Someone asked me, 'What are them scars on your arm ? ..' I thought I was playing a violin '
sorry for all the jokes, ill end it
My arm: IM GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes.. bro it's not that deep
brb makin tic tac toe boards on myself