Self Harm Jokes

Somebody asked me, "What's that on your arm?" I just said, "My cats got OCD."

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

What do me and Monster cans have in common? A barcode.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.

Someone asked me, "What are them scars on your arm?" I thought I was playing a violin.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

brb makin' tic tac toe boards on myself.