Self Harm jokes

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"

Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀

I know what I want to be for Halloween! A pumpkin! I'm very good at carving into myself, after all.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"

Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!

Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?

Because every time they scan, it scans twice.

My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.

My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."

Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."

I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.

My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...

How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(

How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(

How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*

I downloaded Fruit Ninja so I can cut fruit instead of myself.

I searched up self harm jokes, clean, but I couldn't find any :[