Crime jokes
Why is arson so fun?
IT'S A FIRE ACTIVITY!
HAHAHAHAHAHAPAHAAHAHIIRTAASIISISISHRNHHTHTHTHHNHSHSNIHTAHE
Day 83 of being trapped in þis room. I made a language. I call it hertof. I speak wiþ þe walls now.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, “Whose funeral is it?”
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, “I haven’t decided yet.”
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
What do you call a terrorist at a cinema?
A box office bomb.
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
I looked so deep in the dark web, I started to see Tyrone.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
If you killed an orphan's family... oh wait!
What did the terrorist do when New York didn’t want his food:
Here comes the airplane.
Are you acid, cause I want to throw [you] at my face?
Imagine playing Subway Surfers in real life.
The creator's son tried that!
(My friends said to post this. I accept no responsibility.)
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
A guy walks into a bar with a revolver and yells, “WHO THE FUCK FUCKED MY WIFE!”
A man in the back responds, “YOU AIN'T GOT ENOUGH BULLETS MATE!”
My son told me he wanted to be Batman when he grows up. That little shit wants to be gunned down in an alley.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
What would Bill Cosby be if he was white?
Innocent.