Crime jokes
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
Not a joke: one of George Floyd's criminal friends shot his grand-niece as they wanted a piece of the 27 million dollars.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
What's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler?
The thing is, I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall.
Pokemon: What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
I'm going to burn Braden Mitchell Kniffen's house down.
Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
I am the danger.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
I killed 5 orphans and tried to sell their organs.
Nobody still wanted them.
Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?
A: When they are falling from their balcony.
What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?
C4.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.