Crime jokes
The sun is out, and the pedo vans are out.
Parents, keep your kids away from ice cream vans. Once they hear the sound, you'll never see your kids again!
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
I don’t like to tell school shooter jokes because they are usually aimed at a younger audience.
Joker: Knock knock...
Batman: Who's there?
Joker: Not your parents!
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!
I give props to pedophiles.
They always go slow in the school zones.
I raped a disabled child.
I think she's too far gone to repair now.
What’s black and blue and doesn’t like to have sex?
A rape victim!
Gun control...
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
How do you stop a rape victim from speaking out?
Marry her.
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
What type of file do you need to turn a 14 centimeter hole into a 40 centimeter hole?
A pedophile.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.