Crime jokes
It’s been a terrible day today. My ex got hit by a bus and died.
Not only this, but the council cut my bus driver's permit!
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
Son: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
Dad: "Yes, we arson."
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
I crashed into those motherfuckers! 😂😂😂
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"