Crime jokes
Mom! I think that dad is sleeping.
Mom: No, honey, I killed him.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
"Hee hee touch my pp."
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
What did Santa Claus get Paris Hilton for Christmas?
He raped her.
Memes
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
Why did the prostitute lose all her money?
Because she got f*cked.
What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?
My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
Why couldn't the rape victim run away?
Because she was dead.
There will be no school shooter joke today in honor of the 10 people killed in the Colorado grocery store shooting. R.I.P.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What’s the best part of violently raping a sexy 10-year-old girl? Killing the little bitch afterwards.