Verosika MayDay

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Y’all are so rude on here- If you don’t like what I put on MY profile you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!!

Blitz: “HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna…-” Vortex: “You’ll do what?” Blitz: “Or I’ll… uh… uh, I- I’ll call HR!” Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness Verosika/me: “Anyway, meet my new Hellhound… Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well.” leaves and flips Blitz off “Ta-ta fuck stain.”

Like this post to have give someone you hate bad luck

What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-

Moxxie: ThEy CaLlEd Me A pOsSuM!! i’M nOt A pOsSuM!!

Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles, His teacher asked “Three birds where sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?” Little Johnny replied “None, because the sound would scare the other two away.” His teacher said “No, but I like the way you think!” Little Johnny replied, “Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?” His teacher was shocked and said “Little Johnny!” He replied “It’s gum! But I like the way you think!”

“Go big or go home”, that’s what some people say.

“Go loud and proud”, that’s what other people say.

“Go out with a big, loud bang!”, that’s what I say.

My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “We’ll see about that." Then I unplugged his life support.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have it’s perks

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

What do you call a swimming terrorist?

A bath bomb

How are orphans and blind kids similar?

They both have never seen their parents :)