Crime jokes
What is fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
How are rape and airplanes similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White Vans.
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
How are rape and an airplane similar?
The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffrey Epstein?
At least Hitler killed himself.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
My girlfriend called me a pedophile.
And I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old!"
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What does a sex offender and Santa have in common?
They will come down your "chimney" tonight.
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Q. What happens when a pedophile spills his coffee? A. It leaves an EP-stain.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.