Crime jokes
What's Jeffrey Epstein's favourite vegetable?
The retarded kid down the street.
I told my boyfriend one time when I was drunk that I like being raped. The next day, he comes over and says, "Want to have sex?" I said no. He was arrested two days later.
I whopped my daughter's butt because she doesn't listen.
I now have a court date for child abuse and crimes against a deaf person.
I was watching the news and heard a segment about a blind hooker who got stabbed 40 times.
At least she didn't see it coming.
I read a book on the Tracy Latimer case the other day.
It was a gas.
There are so many things about Tracy Latimer's murder that I wish I knew. Did he buckle up her seatbelt? Did he put the radio on for her?
Did he tell her she was going on a little trip to Gastown?
What do you call an ant who fights crime?
A vigilANTe!
Why did the pedophile get kicked out of the candy store?
Because he snatched all of the Sour Patch Kids.
Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
Q: What do hookers and kittens have in common?
A: They both get dumped on deserted back roads.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
What is Epstein's favorite piano chord?
A minor.
Wanna hear a joke?
Rape.
How did black people learn to steal sports cars?
By playing GTA nonstop.
Yo mama is so ugly that even scammers wouldn't go after her money.
I donated blood today. In the future, I will try to remember that I'm supposed to donate my blood only.
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
What did the man do when he caught his wife cheating on him?
He honor-killed her.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.