An old teacher asked her student, “If I say, ‘I am beautiful,’ which tense is that?” The student replied, “It is obviously past.”

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Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins… I just go to the local primary school

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School is like a boner. It’s long and hard unless you’re Asian.

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What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? – Mumbai!

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Why did the pirate kids ride the short bus to school?

Because they were retarrrrrrrrrded

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A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

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Where do you learn to make ice cream? – Sundae school.

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What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher says, “Spit out your gum,” but a train says, “Chew chew!”

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