Crime

Crime Jokes

Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"

Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."

Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."

Guy: "About that..."

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

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What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."

9

What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.

0

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.

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Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!