If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence.
Girl: "Hey, why don't you come over?"
Guy: "I can't. Cops are looking for me, they say I killed 2 people."
Girl: "C'mon, my parents aren't home."
Guy: "About that..."
Say what you want about Pedophiles but at least they drive slow through school zones
I’ve been looking for my ex girlfriend’s killer for the past two years. But no one would do it.
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank.
Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
If you push some one that's bullying, if you kill some one that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe
White Vans
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
What makes suicide illegal?
Getting caught.
Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
Murder is the same as suicide except the other person is doing it for you
What did the rapist say to his victim. Go ahead call the police we will see who comes first.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.
Don’t mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!
