Crime jokes

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?

Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.

Trump's releasing the files.

To catch all the pedophiles.

He didn't know Epstein.

Didn't touch any teens.

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

Why did the bounty hunter not cash in an orphan?

He was not worth keeping.

I saw some terrorists on Family Feud. It looked like they had three strikes!

What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?

Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)

Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌

Below I meant to say I set the gay person on fire.

Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.

"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."

Wow, he stole my antidepressant toy. The next day, he was on the ground.

Why do orphans play GTA?

To feel wanted.

What's the best part of a terrorist on Fourth of July?

The finale.

Damn, the terrorists from CS:GO really do be learning to fly.

What do you call a Japanese car thief?

Tommy took a motor.

My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.

I worry about him sometimes.

Why do orphans have no parents?

Because it was Batman!

I went to the orphanage and shot everyone in there. It's not like anyone will attend their funeral.

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.