Crime Jokes


Suicide is illegal because it’s a crime to destroy government property.

in Roast

If being ugly was a crime u would get a life sentence


What is the most common crime in China?

Identity fraud

The Riddler

Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I’m a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?

in Yo mama

Yo mama, so ugly she’s the reason why Batman fights crime at night.

Moe Lester
in Bin Laden

What’s the smartest crime? 3rd degree murder.

in Confusion

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.

The roast king
in Roast

1 your so dumb you thing Cheerios are donut seeds!

  1. Your so fat you could sell shade!
  2. Your just like coconut water, nobody likes you! 4 you been shopping lately because there selling lives around the corner, you should go get one! If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence !! Are these good
Jayvin Zebari
in Roast
  1. If being ugly was a crime you would have a life sentence

  2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships

  3. There is a tree out there giving you oxegyn, and you owe that tree an apology.

  4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

  5. When I saw your dad on the side walk I didn’t laugh but the sidewalk cracked up.

  6. If I had powers I would make you the dumbest person alive but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

  7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it

  8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart I’d be broke.

  9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting

  10. Were you born on a highway cuz that’s where most accidents happen

  11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya

  12. Your the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented

in Orphan

why do orphans commit crimes

to be wanted

Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a SILENT ATTACK

#NPC #WorthlessLiberals
in Politics

“When Republicans do Politics, it’s a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it’s Politics.” —Tyler Nixon

in Orphan

Why do orphans commit crimes?

It’s the only time they’re ever wanted

What’s up guys! Quandale Dingle here (RUUEHEHEHEHEHEEHE) I have been arrested for multiple crimes (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) including: Battery on a police officer (WHAT), Grand theft, Declaring war on Italy, and public indecency (RUHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE x2 speed). I will be escaping prison on, MARCH 28TH! After that I will take over the worl

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.


What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victimless!