Justice jokes
Orphan: "I want to be a superhero."
Me: "You should be Batman."
Also me: *starts laughing* because Batman doesn't have parents...
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
Why am I in jail?
All I did was cause 9/11.
Everyone is so sensitive about racial issues these days.
All I did was burn a couple crosses and I'm up on federal hate crime charges.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
You hear about Rapboats' time in prison? He kept droppin' the soap on purpose.
What is an orphan's role model?
Batman.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
What is red, white, and blue all over?
A dead cop.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Only one is wanted.
What do you say if you are raped once but feel raped twice?
"I was raped raped."
McDonald's worker: Order, order!
Customer: I didn't do anything wrong!
There is a dark alley. Who do you call?
Batman.
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
Me running from the principal because I put ten woman's rights books in the fictional section!
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”