Boot jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because someone booted her in the face. 馃ぃ馃ぃ
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
White vans.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?
A: Garry Glitter's boots.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he鈥檚 living in the broke man鈥檚 boots.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn鈥檛 want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 馃槀馃ぃ馃憣馃徎馃憣馃徎.. knee slapper
How does an Indian open his car?
"Boot, boot!" (in an Indian accent)
Stephen Hawking said God isn鈥檛 real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 馃槀馃槀馃槀
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?
So they can climb a fence easier.
Are you interested in it?
More than two boot branches.
"Apple bottom cringe boots with the kek (with the kek) got the whole club looking at Shrek."
What is the difference between the snow boots on a day today, but you have the one was the night you were coming tomorrow? I can get home night time for.
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
A gay man enters a bar. At the counter, he sees a skinhead sitting, which he somehow finds cute. He gathers all his courage, goes to the skinhead and whispers to him, "Do you want a blowjob?"
The skinhead punches the gay man in the face with his fist, causing him to go down. Then he drags him outside into the parking lot and kicks him again with his boots before going back inside and sitting down at the counter.
"Man," says the bartender, "but you beat him up quite a bit! What did the man even say to you that you were so freaked out?"
"I don't know," replies the skinhead, "something about a job..."