The 50+ Best Assault Jokes

Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary? One of them knows the definition of no.

A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school and the teacher replies "are you that same person who took Jimmy?" the man replies "yes" and the teacher says "Take susie too she's being a little bitch."

Johnny Depp fans claim to support their god because they sympathise with male victims of sexual assault. Yet a large chunk of them cheer on Wacko Jacko raping little boys, calling it "innocent".

What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”

Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimers? Yeah, neither have they.

Q. What do You call a gun that rapes someone? A. An assault rifle

There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted

I was walking down the street and I punched of a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

Bill Cosby on rape: "But, I heard, 'my body, my choice'"

I’m a rapist

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.