Crime jokes
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.
Gwen: Hi sir, how are you?
Tj: Good... you?
Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date? It seems like you need one 😉!
Tj: 😏.
Gwen: Here, this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend!
Tj: Thanks but um, don't you think you should be um getting inside too?
Gwen: 🙁 No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁.
Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later.
Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
Memes
How do you make a baby cry?
You run over it with a lawn mower.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
I lit a retirement home on fire so that all the seniors can be cremated for free.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
1, 2, I have a gun.
3, 4, I am in a school.
5, 6, Everyone on the ground!
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
Miksi Michael lähti limusiinistä ulos?
Hän näki alastoman pojan.