What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child? She rearranged all the furniture.
1 like = 1 more child in my blender
Whats starts with M and end with arriage?
Miscarriage Now we all know that joke never gets old, and you know what?
Neither does the child
What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds? That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of gloves! Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.
After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”
“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”
A child has diarrhea and asked his mom for a viagra. "Why in the world do you want that?" She asked him. He looks at her and says, "Well that's what you gift dad when his shit won't get hard."
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children
My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"
Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
What’s the opposite of an exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
Whats the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
Schools buses usually don't have screaming and crying children
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
