Sock jokes
Need a sock puppet for a joke.
"Hey Soccy?" "What?" "Where do you come from?" "The laundry bin... I don鈥檛 wanna talk about it!" 馃ぃ
Why do golfers bring an extra pair of socks? In case they get a hole in one.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight? When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Steven Hawking was so excited for Christmas till he realized he got socks.
Sans, why did you buy that pillow? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, grhrh. Sans, you f**k! You wake the f**k up! Frisk comes to the room and ./. You tell Papyrus what happened. Hhhuh, human, heeheheheh. Sans didn't pick up his sock, so I punish him. Sans egjf.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.
Weird, he usually uses a sock.
He's got a massive f*cking cock, Ayew, Ayew. He tucks it in his football sock, Ayew, Ayew. Shagged a bird and now she's dead, Swung his cock around her head, Jordan Ayew Palace number nine.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
They have a new line of socks for paraplegics. They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.
I ate a sock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
It's okay, you had socks on :)
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one!
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)
Why is the divorce rate among socks so high?