Van

Anonymous

What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe

White Vans

Puns

NotAPun

There was a kidnapping at school…

Don´t worry, he woke up.

0

Adoption

Ptrfnny17

I don’t like to use the word kidnapping. So I just use the term: surprise adoption

Morning

Anonymous

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “Ive kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "Ive kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde.” The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?”

2

Darkness

Anonymous

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27 Bc my basements still dark…

Name

Anonymous

A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing while a man named Chris comes up and asks “which one is yours?” The man said “I don’t know i’m still deciding.”

Darkness

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

Type

Anonymous

What type of tape do kidnappers use?

Abduct-Tape

Orphan

Anonymous

I only kidnapped orphans because they have no parents to report them missing.

Street

Anonymous

one man walks up to another and says hey did you here about the kidnapping at main street the guy says no the other guy says oh he woke up

Wife

The Escaped Cancer Cell

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park. Lord: Has something happened while I was gone? Gardener: Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burrying your dog. Lord: My dog died?! Gardener: Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down. Lord: My mansion?! How?! Gardener: Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains. Lord: Why was she so distraught? Gardener: She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped. Lord: My daughter! Don’t you have any positive news for me?! Gardener: Oh right! Your cancer test results!

3

Fan

Anonymous

Did you hear about the kidnapping- Yeah he woke up

Common

Hi

What do kidnappers and Mickey Mouse have in common: come inside it’s fun inside

Sally

Anonymous

What do you call a kid who’s been kidnapped?

Well, her name’s Sally, so I guess… Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.

2

Adoption

Anonymous

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.

Hand

dicktastegud

In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested”. The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?”. The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish”.

6

Girl

You know who

There was a boy a named Sammy and he was deeply in love with a girl named Rayne but she didn’t notice him or talk to him but one day she did and they end up liking each and getting married and lived happil- wait no that’s not right Sammy snuck in Raynes house at night and Kidnapped her locked her in his basement and turned her in a puppet so she be with him forever and ever. The End.

3

Dad

Anonymous

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its fine, he woke up

Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t you kidnap an orphan

Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.

Orphan

Anonymous

I kidnapped an ophan what are they going to do cry for mom