A condom and bungee jumping are exactly alike, if the rubber breaks, your f**ked.

What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

3 nuns are talking and the first nun says, “u would never believe what i discovered.” intrigued, the other to signal her to continue. " i found a phone in the priests room." said the first nun. “oh thats nothing said the second one, i found condoms in one of his drawers.” said the second one. " what did u do with them." said the first nun. pridefully the second nun responds with," i poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, “oh sh*t…”

A man boards a plane with six children of various ages.

After the plane takes off, a woman sitting sitting behind the man asks him, “are all of them yours?”

“No,” the man responds. “I work for a condom company and these are some of the customer complaints.”

Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars

jack and jill went up the hill to do it in the water. jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

“Son, I found a condom in your room.”

“Gee, thanks, Grandpa!”

“Why are you calling me Grandpa?”

“Because I couldn’t find it yesterday.”

The doctor says “your wife is PREGNENT” the man says that he used a condom and the doctor says "ya but I didn’t

Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!

Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year. Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, i give you bad luck for 7 years. Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.

Santa and Bill Cosby’s favorite quote " don’t be dumb make sure they’re numb and always use a condom!"

so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, “hey, wanna get ‘shit-faced?’”

A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday and 1 for Sunday.” The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday.” The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said “they’re for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February…”

Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone “No” So the man says “ok let’s go camping”

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

When Bubba’s condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.

Your Birth Certificate is an apology from the Condom factory

What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guys asshole?

He said “Fuck this shit!”

Why did the murder invest in condoms?To kill the future buyers!

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