When I'm bored, I text a random number, "I hid the body... now what?"
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
My friend has a dry sense of humour
Probably bc her body was decomposed ages ago
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
I hate these double standards.
if you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job" if you do it at home you're "destroying evidence"
When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.
I have 206 bones in my body but when I look at you I have 207
A woman went out on a date and said “I’m thirty one with the body of a sixteen year old” the man responded “wanna show me?😏” the woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “take a look”
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about
Technically suicide is murder and murder is ilegal so if I kill myself my body should go to jail
You know it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise it's just a missing person.
My arms are just a diffrent texture pack compared to my body.
After long consideration, I’ve decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
If it's true what they say and I quote; "God never gives you more than you can handle"
Then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer
Cremation, The last chance for a smoking hot body.
Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.
