Body Jokes

When I’m bored I text a random number “I hid the body... now what”

They laughed at my crayon drawing

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

You are so fat you are fatter than the fattest

Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!

why do giraffes have such long necks?

Because their feet smell!

Three dead bodies are delivered to the mortuary one day. Each of them has a great big smile on their face.

The coroner examines the bodies and then calls the police to tell them what has happened.

"First body: Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, Inspector", says the coroner.

"Second body: Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The inspector then asks, "What about the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Billy-Bob the redneck from Oklahoma, 30, struck by lightning."

"Why is he smiling then?" asks the inspector.

"He thought he was having his picture taken."

1+1=3 just add 9 months

China as fake as bitches with plastic surgery and talk bout body positivity

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

Q.What makes music on your hair?

A. A head band!

Q.What's the most musical bone?

A.The trom-bone!

My friend has a dry sense of humour

Probably bc her body was decomposed ages ago

When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school. At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters

'PNEIS'

and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.

Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.

Why Cant You Nose Be Twelve Inches Because Then it Would Be A Foot

what did the nose say to the finger

stop picking me

What time is it when you say no to ethrything ? Time to get bored

What did the girl say to the man with a moustache? I moustache you a question

What do you call a school that can talk? A school 🏫 with a face

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball. He didn't have any BODY to go with.