Arrest jokes
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.
Why was the belt placed under arrest?
For holding up a pair of pants. 🤣
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Me and my wife love playing table tennis. I couldn’t win all day, but when it got dark, I managed to beat her. I don’t know how the police found out so quickly.
I saw two men wearing the same clothing and walking together, so I asked both of them if they were gay. They did not hesitate arresting me after I said that.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
Your hairline is so back when the police saw it, they had to arrest you.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up pants.
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"
I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights.
He arrested me for impersonating George Floyd.
*I have seizures*