A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The Thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What's the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe
White Vans
Roses are red,my name is Dan,I have a gun,GET IN THE VAN!
Why did the orphan commit mass murder?
To be on top of the wanted list.
Some people think prison is one word, but to robbers, it's a whole sentence.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit
what do you call a avocado that got shot? glockamole
Why do orphans wanna be a criminal? So that they can be wanted.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
Gf- You are a drug. Bf- Why cause you are addicted to me? Gf- No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana.
What are some another names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms? Because he told the man to put his hands up
Serial murderer Ed Gein was famed for raping, killing, and skinning his victims.
When he was asked why he did it, he responded, "You don't know someone until you walk around in their skin."
3 citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI, their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot them, he walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario, he put the gun up but couldn't pull the trigger so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario, he walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
What's the smartest crime? 3rd degree murder.
why did micheal jackson get away with it? because he's a smooth criminal
There is one rapist among us
A limbless criminal has just been identified. Police says the suspect is armed and on the run.
What do you getting you cross bill cosby and Jeffrey Epstein? Predator 2
