Violence jokes
How are abortion and rape different? At least the rape victim usually deserves it and isn't defenseless.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
What's white, black, and red all over?
A zebra who walked into a hunting reserve.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 1: LIKE: When the school shooter is about to leave your classroom and the autistic kid's sketchers light up.
DISLIKE: When the school shooter finds you and you think you're gonna die, but he remembers the time you gave him a pen. 🖌
Vote for the better joke!
She said no, so I raped her.
A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already done told her twice.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
What do 9/10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.
What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
How do you know all suicide bombers self-identify as being old?
They are all boomers in the end.
I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!