War jokes
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
Elderly man: Can I get a discount, please? I fought in World War 2.
Cashier: Sure!
Elderly man: Danke.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
What do you call German weed?
Mustard Gas.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
Your hairline looks like it got burnt in the Civil War.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
What do you call six gay people in a war? Rainbow Six Siege.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
What is an orphan's favorite quote in Star Wars?
"I am your father."
Germany: As long as America stays out of the war, we should win.
Japan: *bombing Pearl Harbor* Cowabunga It Is!!