My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Do you know why God created wars? To teach Americans geography.
How is the business in Ukraine? It's booming.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.
I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn't all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
Watching the 9/11 documentaries just watching a kill cam
How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? They marched in backwards and the Polish people thought they were leaving.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount, I served in the war?" The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?" "Nein," said the old man.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
