My Grandfather never threw anything away, bless him

He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade

Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? – Because in charge of sequence, Yoda was.

What the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!

Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.

What kind of car does yoda drive. A toyoda

How did the octopus go to the war?

Well armed.

Why did they invent glow in the dark condoms So gay guys can play star wars

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

After watching Star Wars 8, I have to say Snoke was half the man I expected him to be.

How does an American know that his time has come? He starts hearing Vietnamese.

What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister? You better not Leia finger on her!

How did Hitler tie is tiny little shoesies?

With tiny little Nazis.

What was Stephen Hawking’s favourite TV show?

Robot Wars.

What do you call a retreat in war? A back up plan

I’m telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution

in normal country they have lemonade in soviet russia they have Leninade “refresh yourself with a cold war.”

Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?

Palpatine: Renew it!

Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!

Rey: Join me Ben you don’t have to be alone anymore, join me. Ben: But Rey, Ive always been solo.