War

War Jokes

Hand Grenade

My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.

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  • Movie

    Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.

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  • Mama

    Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.

    Country

    In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."

    Firework

    I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

    Grandpa

    My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.

    Feminist

    What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?

    Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.

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  • Condom

    Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.

    School Shooter

    I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

    Man

    An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."

    The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"

    "Nein," said the old man.

    Misunderstanding

    When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.

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  • Orphan

    I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.