This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs, and she said, "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
"I will kill you with knife and gun, get ready, Explain Bear, stupid f***."
Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?
Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.
Why are clips 30 rounds? Because that's the average class size.
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
Roses are red, peanuts are tan. I am joining the Ku Klux Klan.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
"A llahu Aks into a bar..."
And it blows up!
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife? I woke up Chris breezy
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals? Guns only have one trigger
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What's the difference between a white woman and a tornado siren?
The tornado siren doesn't get raped.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
Roses or daisies? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy.
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
What is the difference between a broom and a mop?
It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.
