Violence jokes

Rape victim: I want to die.

Man: Hang in there.

Rape victim: That's what I'll do, I'll hang myself.

What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

"Face the wall!"

What do a bullet and a police officer have in common?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words:

Alahu-Akbar.

Why did your friend eat the burger?

Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!

Not really. He was just hungry.

An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.

The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

What is red, white, and goes round and round?

A baby in a blender.

What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

VOTING QUARTERFINAL 3: LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺

DISLIKE: When the school shooter gets killed and everyone is cheering but you walk toward his gun; “I will finish what you started.”

Vote for the better joke.

A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.

He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I have a gun,

GET IN THE VAN!!

Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!

What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?

Mashed potatoes.

How do you know if a rapist loves you?

He will rape you many times.

Who's Joe?

Joe rapes.

People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.

You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...

What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?

Bullets.