I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
Violence Jokes
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
What did the terrorist say to the 72 virgins?
"Just so you know, 5 inches is REALLY big!"
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly, a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back.
Sonic says... April 1st is the best day to do a school shooting. They will think it’s a joke! 😃
I must have raped a woman in a skip. She said she felt rubbish.
I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.
Schools in the hood are kind of the same thing. I always seem to get shot.
"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
